“A quiet mind cureth all.”
Robert Burton
In the turbulence of our modern world, many of us are often stressed beyond our limits. With the perils of daily life pounding our minds, we can be overstimulated and undone, like a horse that is ridden hard and put away wet. Is there any hope for peace and calm? Yes, I believe there is, and here is the key. Less is more. What follows are some concrete and practical tips on finding peace daily. For a better life, try them…
Stop Trying to Fill Every Moment. There is a great Seinfeld episode (perhaps the greatest sit-com ever made in TV history) where Elaine and her stoic boyfriend David Puddy are returning home to New York after a fight-filled European vacation. On the flight home, while Elaine uses her time in the air to read, Puddy chooses instead to stare at the back of the seat in front of him. He doesn’t want a book to read. He doesn’t need a pillow to nap. He is content to simply sit and stare, alone with his thoughts. Frustrated and thinking her boyfriend is a moron, Elaine breaks up with him on the plane. As it turns out, Puddy may have been on to something.
When we are constantly busy, we are training our brains to hate stillness. Unending stimulation and activity, filling every gap in our day with productivity, alters our mental state for the worse. When our brains are not directly focused on a task, something psychologists call our Default Mode Network kicks in. This resting state for the brain is crucial for self-reflection and problem solving. And it’s how we build our identity.
When we fill every gap in our day with phone scrolling, planning, or game playing, this default mode in our brains never switches on and we lose the deeper processing that our brain needs to maintain mental health. Pausing your constant productivity and stimulation gives you back presence and calm. Your pause is not wasted but is instead required for peace of mind. Give your brain a chance to catch up. Try being still.
Eliminate the Noise of Negative Self-Talk. The way you talk to yourself matters. Psychologists call this Self Perception Theory. Your mind will believe what you tell it. Instead of focusing on the negative, use positive self-talk and shift your identity for the better. For example, if you fail at something, instead of beating yourself up, tell yourself that this is what learning looks like. Endeavor to learn from your mistakes and move on positively. If you are working to improve yourself, also frame things positively. Shifting your identity is the key to positive growth, change, and healthy thinking.
Reduce or Eliminate the Background Noise in your Life. As mentioned previously, our brains need quiet and operate with something called the Default Mode Network. This process only turns on when the brain is not taking in information, when you are alone with your thoughts in a state of wakeful rest. During this process we make connections and process emotions. It is where we consolidate memories. It is where creativity and self-awareness live, in this good mental space. When we constantly have something playing all the time, we deny our brains that wakeful rest we need. Constant news and podcasts and music and more, piped into our heads every waking moment destroys our peace of mind and creativity. Outsourcing your quiet time can destroy your mental health. Constant connectivity and information consumption can be emotionally and mentally toxic. Your brain is craving quiet.
Capture Your Mornings for Daily Peace. Many of us wake up every morning and give away our peace of mind, embracing stress by immediately looking at our phones or turning on the morning news. Protect the first minutes, or better yet, the first hours of your day with some kind of peaceful routine. Enjoying a good cup of coffee or hot tea as you watch the sunrise fosters peace of mind. Many walk or exercise first thing in the morning. You may have a cozy nest in your living room with a comfortable chair where you can relax and breathe in the first hours of the day.
Some start their days journaling or reading. Mental health has been linked to solid spiritual grounding. For those so inclined, a wonderful way to start your day involves reading the Bible. Scripture can be settling. If there is a God, and I believe there is, He’s a good person to know. Go to Him each morning.
Less is more. Life will get better and more peaceful when you reduce the load on your weary mind. Consider cutting some of the junk out and find peace daily…