Silent Night, Hold on Tight – The Devine News

 “The Herdmans moved from grade to grade through the Woodrow Wilson School like those South American fish that strip your bones clean in three minutes flat…which was just about what they did to one teacher after another.” book quote

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

 I like Christmas movies (and books).  There are few holiday traditions more enjoyable (after ingesting gluttonous portions of turkey, or ham, with all the trimmings, including fudge), than plopping the family down on the couch (surrounded by dogs) and watching a good Christmas movie.  I’ve written about Christmas movies before.  Older movies are the best.  Family favorites include the following:  White Christmas (1954 – starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, & Vera Ellen – this is the classic Christmas movie), It’s a Wonderful Life (1946 – starring Jimmy Stewart & Donna Reed – Frank Capra’s gem - one of the greatest films of all time), A Christmas Story (2012 – with Peter Billingsly as nine-year-old BB gun loving Ralphie), Home Alone (1990 – with Macauly Culkin defending his suburban home from nincompoop burglars), Elf (2003 – featuring hilarious Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf), Die Hard (1988 – a wonderful Bruce Willis feel-good movie), and Christmas Vacation (1989 – with Chevy Chase leading the side-splitting fun).  All of these movies I would include on my must-see holiday playlist.  
 This week I have a new movie to add to our list – The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.  This film is the latest project from Dallas Jenkins, creator of The Chosen TV series.  The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is based on the brilliantly written book of the same name by Barbara Robinson.  I think this movie is destined to become a classic.  Another movie was made in 1983 (same title), but this one (the 2024 version) is much better.  It is playing in theaters now – go see it!
 The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever tells the gut-busting story of the Herdmans (“the worst kids in the history of the world”) and their involvement in their town’s annual celebrated Christmas pageant.   
 The story is told through the narration of young Beth Bradley.  Beth’s mother Grace is drafted to direct the pageant after an unfortunate debilitating accident lands the busybody current director in the hospital with two broken legs.  Grace has big shoes to fill, which is even more trying because this year’s performance marks the much-anticipated pageant’s 75th anniversary.  Matters soon become complicated by the arrival of the dreaded Herdmans.
 The Herdmans are feral children who are used to terrorizing the town.  With absent parents, they roam the streets and schoolyard menacing all they meet.  They lie and steal and talk dirty and hit little kids and start fires.  They are just so awful Beth says that “you could hardly believe they were real – six skinny, stringy-haired kids all alike except for being different sizes and having different black-and-blue places where they had clonked each other.”  
 After a careless reference by Beth’s younger brother Charlie about all of the delicious treats available at the church for free, the Herdmans drop in one Sunday to graze, searching for snacks.        Coincidentally, their arrival corresponds with tryouts for the annual Christmas pageant.  Imogene Herdman, the cigar-smoking oldest sister of the family, decides that she wants to play the part of Jesus’ mother Mary, and the pageant slides downhill from there.  “I’ve got the baby here,” Imogene barks at the Wise Men.  “Don’t touch him!  I named him Jesus.”
 With meddling neighborhood moms stoking revolt behind the scenes, and the cantankerous Herdmans front and center, the story rolls on with hilarity.  
 The movie does a very good job of illuminating the true message of Christmas without being too “churchy.”  The Herdmans were absolutely the worst kids in the history of the world.  And that’s the whole point.  As Grace tells Beth, “Jesus was born for the Herdmans as much as He was for us.”  
 The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is a solidly entertaining movie that deserves a place in the holiday movie classics hall of fame.  I recommend you drag your family out of the house and go see it.  Merry Christmas!